Happy Birthday William E. Ryan Sr….

I wanted to write something today like I did last year, but I couldn’t put anything into words.  That was until I recieved and email from my dad this evening.  I feel that my response became very reflective and fluid of what I wanted to write today.  With that said, instead of creating something entirely new I will just paste my email to my dad with no other explanation, commentary or conclusion just pure free form….

That is the beauty of BDays they allow for a reoccurring annual memory of the celebration of that person’s life.  I was torn today of what to do.  I kind of wanted to go out and celebrate and drink away the night, but its hard to go out and share stories of person’s life while you are drinking alone.  I decide to order Chinese and watch the knicks play terrible here in Oakland.  Tomorrow I will continue to make steps towards preparing for my race and progress though my life’s story development.  I will most like do it at a steep pace and bare no limits, but that is the person I am.  I have parts of my life that I operate under caution and security but then I have other parts of my life that have no bounds, safe guards or fears.  Mostly that is my challenges and athletics for others it is different.  I keep my Monday thru Friday very stable and secure to allow my freedom to be felt on Saturday and Sunday.

I still think about the lunches and dinners during his wake where we left a chair open for him as we shared the memory and presents of his life.  I guess unconsciously I decided to eat the Chinese portions for two by myself as an expression of sharing and experience.  I mean I spent most of my childhood over eating and watch bad TV with him on Friday nights.

It was not until this reply that I got overly emotional today.  It just proves that even as the years pass the loss can still be felt.  That to me is the measure of a person and their affect on others.  I still think about the volumes of people that came from all distances to pay their respects those few days.

I know everyone has their ways of remembering and experiencing a person. I would say that the way I choose to solicit and retain friends is the way I live my daily life.  I have my group that have full access and no bounds with but then I have my weekly groups that I am cautious and guard with.

I have always been a networker and a builder of relationships, mostly for my personal benefit but also for others.  Prior to moving to SF I was thinking I was ready to live alone.  When I had the choice to do that in SF, I once again choose a roommate.  Even with a body in the house it doesn’t mean that you are not alone.  It all goes back to having the ability to share and experience things.  I am enjoying my time in SF not because of the people I meet but more because of the person I am finding myself to be.

I have spent the last 3 mornings getting up at 5am to hit the gym at 6am before work.  It was something I hated to do, not that I like it now but has been something I wanted to do.  I like my athletics.  I like my challenges.  I need to be pushed.  Coddling is not a successful way to bond or motivate with me. I resist it and rebel from it.  I am finding my more of my independence here in SF but I am also finding more distinct likes and dislikes.

I read a great line from The Great Gatsby this week. “I’m thirty.  I am five years too old to lie to myself and call that honor.” Maybe it was the age it stated or the coincidence of they changes and things I am feeling since my move.  Either way I liked it and I hope it is reflective of who I am.  That is another motivating factor for me to be in bed by 10pm Su-thurs so I can hit the gym.  I am not sure if I will stick it out because today for example I was asleep at 5pm for an hour when I got home.  It makes me feel better overall when I hit the gym which is good but I begin to resent patterns and repetitions in my personal life.  This goes back to my need to be split between work and play. Remember fighting with me to go to Tae Kwon Do, but when we finished I was happy? See nothing has changed even since I was 5 years old I have always been the same.  I still hate going to the gym but feel great after.  I just can’t bottle that feeling prior to walking in those double doors.  I feel the reason is that I am too consistent at work for me to be the same at home.

Oh well I started this as a short paragraph reply but I clearly unravelled in the process and rambled on.  I am glad you reached out and shared your story with me about Aunt Eileen and Uncle Tony’s site visit to Grandpa today.

Love Billy

Majority……

“It is not worth an intelligent man’s time to be in the majority. By definition, there are already enough people to do that.” – G. H. Hardy

If this is the case.  How do you transfer the balance of intelligence to much needed causes than the herd?

“It is impossible to defeat an ignorant man in argument.”

By definition impossible means never being able to defeat said man.  Is it possible to educate said man? how do you educate to prevent ignorance?

These two quotes have driven my mind mad all week.  That coupled with my curiosity to watch how people react in times of stress.  I am not sure if I have written/alluded to this before, but I am always fascinated by how people conform or rebel in groups.  People can be like lab rats fight based on their personal assessment and will to live.

Business School

Not that I want to compare lab rats to graduate students but I think I have too.  You drop 60 motivated students in a classroom to sink or swim, and they will swim or at least sink trying.  In the process to stay alive they will also lean on you to stay above water.  They don’t care if that means you have less air or are even submerged under the water.  they will do what they need to do to survive and prosper.  No other place will you be in a room with 60 very similar people with their initial instinct to be divide and conquer.  You know when you walk in that room that admissions has already sorted you as the best and the brightest to attend that program.  At least by one standard deviation, everyone in that room had tested and scored very close to the same.  Otherwise you wouldn’t of been admitted.  I recently heard of a study where they dropped a lab rat into two exactly the same containers in shape, size and, water level.  The only different is that one will be placed in a dark room and the other will in a lighted room.  The rat in the dark will give up after 30 seconds of swimming, while the one exposed to light in the otherwise same conditions will fight and swim for over 4 hours.  An effort equaled to 500 times greater.

What is the fundamental difference? The rat in the dark has no hope, the exposure to light creates an inherent driver of motivation to survive.  Similar to graduate students they are all the same, they are all in the same container and they are all in the same amount of water.  Unlike the test environment where there is one person controlling the exposure to light, instead all of your peers are the ones with their hands on the switch.  Students will shut off their peers light as they compete and dismiss those who they feel don’t their equal.  (Which is interesting because an admissions board has declared all of them the same and equal).  It is the nature and conditions of their surroundings.

California Sports Fan

This sports fan is always an interesting topic for me.  I was serenaded by the California cry daily when I arrived here.  “Where else can you surf in the morning and drive to ski in the afternoon.”  This mindset is why very few professional sports teams survive let alone thrive.  Who have survived regularly LA Lakers because of “SHOWTIME” the flash and glamour drive the market.  LA Doyers (Dodgers) because they were pioneers.

Who does not thrive: LA Kings, Anaheim Ducks, San Diego anything.  Why? Is it because California produces more flakey people than any where else? Is it because the Northeast is more hard core than any where else? I am sure these stereotypes have a hair of truth, but the reality we are all a product of our environment.

Why is Southern California filled with more transplants (yes transplants, not implants) than any where else? Because it is an active community.  The gym after work is a social standard not a new years resolution.  Tanning, running, biking, surfing are weekend rituals because they can be.  It is november 7th and I am in a robe and not much else and I am fine.  If I was still in NYC I would be buried in layers and a neck deep in adult beverages because there is not much to do but watch sports and drink beers.  That is the product of that environment, that is why people seem/claim to be harder works in NYC.  They have no choice but to stay at work or indoors to support their team instead of attempting to brave the cold.  As much as I get frustrated during NY Yankee playoff baseball because I am in the heart of LA Angel red.  It isn’t because the Angels are not a well coached team (Except in game 1,2 or 5 in the 2009 ALCS).  It is because the Angels fans are short sighted and limited in their exposure because of their balanced social and sporting life.

City Life/Dating

Big city dating is survival of the fittest.  I saw a great article in the NY Times on how living in Manhattan limits your ability to date the bridge & tunnel crowd.  On a map the distance between parts of Manhattan and sections of queens is about 15 miles or 20 minutes driving in most places.  Because of the density of people in a city, it will take over an hour and 3 trains to visit a partner.  You could be also exposed to a 100,000 singles in a radius of 15 blocks, so why would you look as far as 15 miles.  Clearly it doesn’t make sense.

NYC is not easy or cheap living.  It is a frenzy for most and this intoxicating concentration of choice and options can quickly limit or erase your future options.  I know people who have submerged in the deep and fruitful garden of eden we call New York City, Chicago and/or San Francisco.  Catching fish after fish and living it weekend after weekend.  Next thing you know you are 45 years old and HBO has made a movie about you as either Carrie or Big depending on your gender.

New York!!!!
Concrete jungle where dreams are made of,
There’s nothing you can’t do,
Now you’re in New York!!!
These streets will make you feel brand new,
the lights will inspire you,
Let’s hear it for New York, New York, New York – Alicia Keys

My uncle always said that some drugs make you brand new, and a new man always wants more.   It hits me like a wave where I envy this lifestyle an then I remember that the city is really just a legal drug that can consume you until it is done with you.  It is amazing but extremely addictive and dangerous.

Public vs Private HS

I have had the luxury to experience both sides sort of.  I grew up in the inner-boroughs of NYC seeing the diversity and melting pot of the city.  There was not happy bubble or fairy tale blanket of naive bliss.

I also was moved to a suburban High School in Connecticut to a some what exclusive neighborhood.  All those after school stories or TV sitcoms on how rich children act is very accurate.  I like to believe that the more intimate smaller classrooms provided in the nicer some what private schools allow for a lot of exploration.  Curiosity and communication can really develop a young child.  It sets building blocks that could build a strong foundation.  Curiosity has also killed the cat.

In public schools things happen fast and decisions are made. It can happen in both settings, but it seems that there is a greater chance for poor choices in public schools.  Again it is the product of their environment.  I am bias towards smaller more private schools but I know they are both as equally dangerous.  Any extra time on your hands means getting into your parents booze, smokes and dirty magazines.  Kids will be kids and I had the benefit or working fast and learning to hustle.  Then being conditioned and sculpted in the private setting second.  I don’t think a suburban kid could be dropped into a urban HS unless they have watch Michelle Pfeiffer in Dangerous Minds.

Unions

Unions by definition protect the weakest employee.  They are a band of brothers that limit each others progress.  I speak freely about this knowing that I was raised in a union household.  They are the prototype for the herd mentality.

Definition: The term herd mentality is derived from the word “herd,” meaning group of animals, and “mentality,” implying a certain frame of mind. However the most succinct definition would be: how large numbers of people act in the same ways at the same times.

Herd behavior is distinguished from herd mentality because it applies to all animals, whereas the term “mentality” implies a uniquely human phenomenon. Herd mentality implies a fear-based reaction to peer pressure which makes individuals act in order to avoid feeling “left behind” from the group. Herd mentality is also sometimes known as “mob mentality.”

Conclusion

What was my goal with this post? I wanted to identify how herds operate in different settings.

Herd mentality describes how people are influenced by their peers to adopt certain behaviors, follow trends, and/or purchase items. Examples of the herd mentality include the early adopters of high technology products such as cell phones and iPods, as well as stock market trends, fashions in apparel, cars, home décor, etc. Social psychologists study the related topics of group intelligence, crowd wisdom, and decentralized decision making.

People in these herds are broken up into two groups, explains Friedrich Nietzsche, a philosopher who coined the phrase. One lended itself to the religious points of views- their beliefs and how those dictated their actions- while the other lended itself to influence by the media- based upon what others perceive as ‘right’ (following trends, social norms, etc.). Nietzsche perceived these two forms of subservience to be a weakness among the common man, and that the “Superman” as Nietzsche terms is the one who overcomes the values of the fallible herd.

I leave you with this.  I want to circle back to my initial two quotes I posted:

“It is not worth an intelligent man’s time to be in the majority. By definition, there are already enough people to do that.” – G. H. Hardy

“It is impossible to defeat an ignorant man in argument.”

Take a minute to stop and listen.  Listen to what is being said to you.  Take a second to put down your iPhone or texting device.  Take a minute to see if you are following or leading.  Find out if you are reacting or making decisions.  Find out if you are imploring change or just accepting status quo.  If you really want to make a different and be an innovator of change.  Step out of the majority, step out of the shadows of the “Norm”.  No need to argue with an ignorant man, but there is a need to educate them to accomplish common goals.  I am not saying we all have the answers, but we all have the ability to ask the questions that could lead to the answers which influence change and progress.

Are we Smarter as babies?

Poor eating and nutrition is something we develop from our parents.  As babies we eat every two to three hours.  We eat small meals.  We stop when we are full. And we only eat when we are hungry.  It is only when our parents take the Doctor’s training wheels off does our eating head south. 

 

Parents teach us to eat large meals.  Eat it all off our plate, before we make (not have) room for dessert.  Two issues here: 1) forcing over eating, 2) making sugar a reward.  As I have begun to take control of my life and relearn good habits I started to read a book on nutrition.  What are the rules following the first chapter?

 

1. Eat a variety of wholesome foods to consume a bigger variety of health-protective nutrients.  Choose more of the best foods and less of the rest.
2. Fuel your body on a regular schedule, eating every two to four hours rather than having one or two big meals per day.
3. Eat when you are hungry and then stop when you are content.  When eating at restaurants, be cautious of “value meals” that emphasize large portions.  They lead to overeating and poor health.
4. Take mealtimes seriously.

 

As a child I was dropped off at my Grandma Ryan’s every morning before being walked to school.  What does this mean? Overly caring grandparents.  Lets review what was conceived as love and attention for their only grandchild. 

 

Breakfast:

1. 16 oz Whole milk
2. 6 oz OJ
3. Instant Oatmeal
4. 4 Pancakes with all the fixings (syrup and butter)
5. Scrabbled eggs & bacon
6. Toast with butter & jelly

 

This isn’t the week’s menu; this was served to me and only me every morning. 

 

So when I say we were smartest as children I am not lying.  I was taught that food was love and bonding.  I was taught that all must be done before you can move on.  I was taught that I can have what ever I want as often as I want.  These are all deadly habits to have.  I have watched my Dad eat entire large pizzas alone, half gallons of ice cream in a sitting, and drift the first snow falls worth of cheese on piles of pasta. 

 

In pursuit of fixing my habits and improving my personal performance I have started to correct my eating habits.  Like most sports or achievements, 80% of the success is the practice and preparation.  Weight loss and personal wellness is 80% eating and 20% physical activity.  Part of my Nth year plan was to get to a certain maintainable weight and to become a cook.  As I peel back the onion I have starting to tightly package some of these goals that go hand in hand. 

 

Unlike current events, I am not trying to solve all problems with a board brush.  I am just trying to establish good habits to the point that they are second nature supporting the overarching long-term goals.  I see my new active life, personal and professional growth  goals to be something I have always wanted.  I see this infusion of awareness of my personal nutrition (this is key, because like investments there is no generic solution for YOU) as a cornerstone to achieving and supporting my goals/values. 

 

I leave you with this.  The key to any change is to formulate the final goal as well as embracing and understanding the rocky path you will trek in this journey.  Most things you want that are worth your time, will not come easily.  So the competitive spirit and perseverance is needed to make sure you become the person you have always wanted to be….