Do you pick your path or does your path pick you? When is that tipping point? When do you no longer have a choice? How long do you have before your path passes you bye? These are the questions I am always asking myself and those around me.
I am never sure if I am just more driven them some or just too stubborn to give up. I feel there is a distinct difference between these two paths. On one hand I am just a harder work than most. On the other hand I could be just too scared to fail and become blind to the big picture while focusing on a single prize. Only the former is admirable.
Maybe it is my athletic background, education or, work experience in finance and the world of securities when I say this. “Historical performance is no guarantee for future performance”, but it is the nurture that could help you over come your human nature. We are all programmed with the DNA to achieve certain things. It is all a matter what drives us to make the most out of our abilities. For some that burning candle is more of a smoldering wick than a burning inferno. For some that wick isn’t long enough and for others it gets clipped before it can ignite.
I have recently talked to friends and family members about their journey. I had an Uncle who said he feels there is never enough education. He also said that he wishes he did more with his degree. He is considering going back for his MBA now, which would allow him an extension to his current path. He started as a division one athlete in soccer getting a bachelors degree in writing and English. He found himself on Wall Street in finance and sales in the heart of the city rat race as Wall Street was going through a crash. He was always a self-starter and entrepreneur and not one to be hitting the phonebooks cold calling for clients. It wasn’t his lack of drive and desire; it was just the wrong path. At 24 years of age he found himself an owner of his first bar & restaurant in NYC. The only thing more difficult than making it in the finance business in NYC; was making it in the food & drink business. He went on to open 4 more ventures and being the labeled “The Boys of Bayside”. He now has 3 kids and a happy family. He works a stable job in our family’s famous “Phone Company” (Verizon to everyone else, but to us there was only the 1 phone company). The bar & restaurants are obliviously still in the back ground, but they don’t provide the benefits to insure the health of a family.
Now I know he is happy. Maybe he would have liked to have been a writer but he always wanted to be a Husband & Father. He is providing in a fashion that I currently couldn’t fathom, both financially and responsibility. He recently told me “Life is expensive”. After spending a week with them on vacation, I would have to agree. I know that at 29 I could not have a child let alone 2 or 3 as some of my relatives have had. Life events like these are part of my relentless question. When life happens like this your path changes. Now this is not an example of failure. It is though a challenge that tests your values and goals. This becomes your tipping point. You are no longer a single person. You are now responsible to someone else. You are responsible to a wife or husband. You are now responsible for this unbiased, unsuspecting, evolving newborn life.
I think there is still an inflection point in life where you make that decision of how and what you are willing to compromise. To live a shared life you need compromise and be understanding. Now is this the chicken or the egg? Can you set your path and plot your life before taking on shared compromise? You will always have personal compromise. Personal compromise exists in multiple setting and multiple layers. Examples could be: Which schools do I want to attend and which schools will I get admitted? What is the price I must pay to eat this cheesecake? Am I willing to suffer the weight gain? Or am I willing to commit the time to counter/overcome this hurdle.
Since I am single (some what by design), I can be selfish and try to line up as many ducks in a row before I face those shared choices. Is love and life something I can control for no not 100%. I can though set short and long range goals for the quality of life I would like to live and the career I feel will be best suited for my abilities as well as desires. I can pursue those goals with reckless abandon until I intersect that life path where I will need to make a choice.
Part of that design is that I have witness failure in relationships. Failure when it comes to understanding compromise. I understand my limitations when it comes to relationships. I am also aware of what it is what I want in a relationship. I approach all things with a very systematic approach. I try to identify what it is what I want. I then try to identify how it can be accomplished. I then begin the process to achieve said goal. I try to be the best I can be at what ever it is I set my mind to. I once said that I would give up talent for people who understand the team and who understand the battle. I am a person that might hate losing more than I enjoy winning. This is an advantage as well as a handicap. Bill Parcells once said: “There is winning and there is misery.”
The most important part of that personal evaluation is that I understand my tipping point. I am just not sure that most people can say the same. My friend said to me that he couldn’t stand another day in a classroom. This was when I told him that I was going to start preparing for the LSAT. He said you must really love school. It is true that I enjoy school. I enjoy learning and growing. I love the team and collaborative environment that school fosters. As much as I like school I like more the challenge and dynamic change school provides.
I just heard in the Notorious BIG movie a great quote: “You can’t change the world, until you change yourself.”
In academics it is all about breading change. The pedestrian bridge at my undergrad once said “Why not change the world”. Now it says “One world changes everything”. The concept remains the same. You will not become the Third baseman for the New York Yankees until you understand your limitations. Failure and weakness create strength and awareness. Reflection and documentation create accountability. Without awareness, accountability you can not create goals. Without goals you can not create your path.
I leave you with this. “The Path” is just an opportunity. Opportunities like windows close eventually. Opportunities are like potential. Here is another Bill Parcells quote: “I think he’s got good potential, but he needs a lot of work.” So no matter what your potential is, if you do not work at that goal it will become just another closed window. Do not let your paths decide your future. Take control and keep your eyes on the horizon. Keeping your eyes up is the only way to see any of life’s speed bumps on the way. The key things to remember are: Plan, Prepare, Review and Adjust. You might take shorter or longer paths, but the key is always find a way to obtain your goals.
I set a goal to write and reflect more frequently through this blog. Today I was asked where my posts have been, so I am now accountable. I appreciate being held to the fire. Goals are only as good as your measuring stick.
