Happy Birthday William E. Ryan Sr….

I wanted to write something today like I did last year, but I couldn’t put anything into words.  That was until I recieved and email from my dad this evening.  I feel that my response became very reflective and fluid of what I wanted to write today.  With that said, instead of creating something entirely new I will just paste my email to my dad with no other explanation, commentary or conclusion just pure free form….

That is the beauty of BDays they allow for a reoccurring annual memory of the celebration of that person’s life.  I was torn today of what to do.  I kind of wanted to go out and celebrate and drink away the night, but its hard to go out and share stories of person’s life while you are drinking alone.  I decide to order Chinese and watch the knicks play terrible here in Oakland.  Tomorrow I will continue to make steps towards preparing for my race and progress though my life’s story development.  I will most like do it at a steep pace and bare no limits, but that is the person I am.  I have parts of my life that I operate under caution and security but then I have other parts of my life that have no bounds, safe guards or fears.  Mostly that is my challenges and athletics for others it is different.  I keep my Monday thru Friday very stable and secure to allow my freedom to be felt on Saturday and Sunday.

I still think about the lunches and dinners during his wake where we left a chair open for him as we shared the memory and presents of his life.  I guess unconsciously I decided to eat the Chinese portions for two by myself as an expression of sharing and experience.  I mean I spent most of my childhood over eating and watch bad TV with him on Friday nights.

It was not until this reply that I got overly emotional today.  It just proves that even as the years pass the loss can still be felt.  That to me is the measure of a person and their affect on others.  I still think about the volumes of people that came from all distances to pay their respects those few days.

I know everyone has their ways of remembering and experiencing a person. I would say that the way I choose to solicit and retain friends is the way I live my daily life.  I have my group that have full access and no bounds with but then I have my weekly groups that I am cautious and guard with.

I have always been a networker and a builder of relationships, mostly for my personal benefit but also for others.  Prior to moving to SF I was thinking I was ready to live alone.  When I had the choice to do that in SF, I once again choose a roommate.  Even with a body in the house it doesn’t mean that you are not alone.  It all goes back to having the ability to share and experience things.  I am enjoying my time in SF not because of the people I meet but more because of the person I am finding myself to be.

I have spent the last 3 mornings getting up at 5am to hit the gym at 6am before work.  It was something I hated to do, not that I like it now but has been something I wanted to do.  I like my athletics.  I like my challenges.  I need to be pushed.  Coddling is not a successful way to bond or motivate with me. I resist it and rebel from it.  I am finding my more of my independence here in SF but I am also finding more distinct likes and dislikes.

I read a great line from The Great Gatsby this week. “I’m thirty.  I am five years too old to lie to myself and call that honor.” Maybe it was the age it stated or the coincidence of they changes and things I am feeling since my move.  Either way I liked it and I hope it is reflective of who I am.  That is another motivating factor for me to be in bed by 10pm Su-thurs so I can hit the gym.  I am not sure if I will stick it out because today for example I was asleep at 5pm for an hour when I got home.  It makes me feel better overall when I hit the gym which is good but I begin to resent patterns and repetitions in my personal life.  This goes back to my need to be split between work and play. Remember fighting with me to go to Tae Kwon Do, but when we finished I was happy? See nothing has changed even since I was 5 years old I have always been the same.  I still hate going to the gym but feel great after.  I just can’t bottle that feeling prior to walking in those double doors.  I feel the reason is that I am too consistent at work for me to be the same at home.

Oh well I started this as a short paragraph reply but I clearly unravelled in the process and rambled on.  I am glad you reached out and shared your story with me about Aunt Eileen and Uncle Tony’s site visit to Grandpa today.

Love Billy

The Path….

Do you pick your path or does your path pick you? When is that tipping point? When do you no longer have a choice? How long do you have before your path passes you bye?  These are the questions I am always asking myself and those around me.

I am never sure if I am just more driven them some or just too stubborn to give up.  I feel there is a distinct difference between these two paths.  On one hand I am just a harder work than most. On the other hand I could be just too scared to fail and become blind to the big picture while focusing on a single prize.  Only the former is admirable.

Maybe it is my athletic background, education or, work experience in finance and the world of securities when I say this.  “Historical performance is no guarantee for future performance”, but it is the nurture that could help you over come your human nature.  We are all programmed with the DNA to achieve certain things.  It is all a matter what drives us to make the most out of our abilities.  For some that burning candle is more of a smoldering wick than a burning inferno.  For some that wick isn’t long enough and for others it gets clipped before it can ignite.

I have recently talked to friends and family members about their journey.  I had an Uncle who said he feels there is never enough education.  He also said that he wishes he did more with his degree. He is considering going back for his MBA now, which would allow him an extension to his current path.  He started as a division one athlete in soccer getting a bachelors degree in writing and English.  He found himself on Wall Street in finance and sales in the heart of the city rat race as Wall Street was going through a crash.  He was always a self-starter and entrepreneur and not one to be hitting the phonebooks cold calling for clients.  It wasn’t his lack of drive and desire; it was just the wrong path.  At 24 years of age he found himself an owner of his first bar & restaurant in NYC.   The only thing more difficult than making it in the finance business in NYC; was making it in the food & drink business.  He went on to open 4 more ventures and being the labeled “The Boys of Bayside”.  He now has 3 kids and a happy family.  He works a stable job in our family’s famous “Phone Company” (Verizon to everyone else, but to us there was only the 1 phone company).  The bar & restaurants are obliviously still in the back ground, but they don’t provide the benefits to insure the health of a family.

Now I know he is happy.  Maybe he would have liked to have been a writer but he always wanted to be a Husband & Father.  He is providing in a fashion that I currently couldn’t fathom, both financially and responsibility.  He recently told me “Life is expensive”.  After spending a week with them on vacation, I would have to agree.  I know that at 29 I could not have a child let alone 2 or 3 as some of my relatives have had.  Life events like these are part of my relentless question.  When life happens like this your path changes.  Now this is not an example of failure.  It is though a challenge that tests your values and goals.  This becomes your tipping point.  You are no longer a single person.  You are now responsible to someone else.  You are responsible to a wife or husband.  You are now responsible for this unbiased, unsuspecting, evolving newborn life.

I think there is still an inflection point in life where you make that decision of how and what you are willing to compromise.  To live a shared life you need compromise and be understanding.  Now is this the chicken or the egg?  Can you set your path and plot your life before taking on shared compromise? You will always have personal compromise.  Personal compromise exists in multiple setting and multiple layers.  Examples could be: Which schools do I want to attend and which schools will I get admitted?  What is the price I must pay to eat this cheesecake? Am I willing to suffer the weight gain? Or am I willing to commit the time to counter/overcome this hurdle.

Since I am single (some what by design), I can be selfish and try to line up as many ducks in a row before I face those shared choices. Is love and life something I can control for no not 100%.  I can though set short and long range goals for the quality of life I would like to live and the career I feel will be best suited for my abilities as well as desires.  I can pursue those goals with reckless abandon until I intersect that life path where I will need to make a choice.

Part of that design is that I have witness failure in relationships.  Failure when it comes to understanding compromise.  I understand my limitations when it comes to relationships.  I am also aware of what it is what I want in a relationship.  I approach all things with a very systematic approach.  I try to identify what it is what I want.  I then try to identify how it can be accomplished.  I then begin the process to achieve said goal.  I try to be the best I can be at what ever it is I set my mind to.  I once said that I would give up talent for people who understand the team and who understand the battle.  I am a person that might hate losing more than I enjoy winning.  This is an advantage as well as a handicap.  Bill Parcells once said: “There is winning and there is misery.”

The most important part of that personal evaluation is that I understand my tipping point.  I am just not sure that most people can say the same. My friend said to me that he couldn’t stand another day in a classroom.  This was when I told him that I was going to start preparing for the LSAT.  He said you must really love school.  It is true that I enjoy school.  I enjoy learning and growing.  I love the team and collaborative environment that school fosters.  As much as I like school I like more the challenge and dynamic change school provides.

I just heard in the Notorious BIG movie a great quote: “You can’t change the world, until you change yourself.”

In academics it is all about breading change.  The pedestrian bridge at my undergrad once said “Why not change the world”.  Now it says “One world changes everything”.  The concept remains the same.  You will not become the Third baseman for the New York Yankees until you understand your limitations.  Failure and weakness create strength and awareness.  Reflection and documentation create accountability.  Without awareness, accountability you can not create goals.  Without goals you can not create your path.

I leave you with this.  “The Path” is just an opportunity.  Opportunities like windows close eventually.  Opportunities are like potential.  Here is another Bill Parcells quote: “I think he’s got good potential, but he needs a lot of work.” So no matter what your potential is, if you do not work at that goal it will become just another closed window.  Do not let your paths decide your future.  Take control and keep your eyes on the horizon.  Keeping your eyes up is the only way to see any of life’s speed bumps on the way.  The key things to remember are: Plan, Prepare, Review and Adjust.  You might take shorter or longer paths, but the key is always find a way to obtain your goals.

I set a goal to write and reflect more frequently through this blog.  Today I was asked where my posts have been, so I am now accountable.  I appreciate being held to the fire.  Goals are only as good as your measuring stick.

Oppurtunity Maker….

Today on my Grandfather’s (William E. Ryan Sr.) birthday, I had lunch with a former Professor and current Friend. The topic was reviewing my development of my values, vision statement &, mission statement. We came to the conclusion based on my written words and mental rambling that my Mission is to be an “Opportunity Maker” 

As usual I researched what this means in the wired world of the internet. After Googling the term “Opportunity Maker” I was amused as well as felt a bit of irony to see the top search item. It was this book here: The Opportunity Maker: Strategies for Inspiring Your Legal Career Through Creative Networking and Business Development By Ari Kaplan.. You might think why is this ironic? Well recent soul searching has found me with the desire to chase my suppressed dream of becoming a Lawyer. As you can see from the title of the book how appropriate my lunch time conversation coordinates with this use of “Opportunity Maker”

For further detail review the book’s description:

This book is designed to help you harness your potential for business development and empower your legal career from law school through partnership. It provides techniques for defining your personal brand, leveraging your creativity, and maximizing your success. Rainmakers, public relations experts, elected officials, marketing masters, in-house counsel, business executives, career advisers, associates, law students, and others who have walked in your shoes offer perspective on issues ranging from networking, mentoring, and blogging to hosting your own television show, starting a charity, and getting published. Each chapter addresses genuine strategies for connecting with people and establishing meaningful professional relationships.

What I find most interesting is that the term I was at a loss for this afternoon was “Rainmaker”. Which is what I think would be most appropriate as a descriptor for what I wanted in my mission statement as a synonym for opportunity maker. I feel that my nature & nurture has brought me to this point. I think that the characteristics I am drawn to in people and the values I hold important to myself make up the DNA of a person meant for Corporate Law.

What are these values I continue to reference with vagueness? Well I am glad you asked. Here are the 5 core values and the 5 supporting values that I have identified.

 

Core Value: Achievement Winning Problem solving Doing things successfully Sense of accomplishment	Supporting Value: Adventure Risk taking Entrepreneurship Challenging Experiences Trail Blazer
Core Value: Discipline Self Control Commitment Hard working Determination	Supporting Value: Responsibility Accountable for results Reliable Dependable Liable personal initiative
Core Value: Friendship Close Relationships Unity Partnership Mutual Appreciation	Supporting Value: Family Happiness Relations being together Community Team work Sense of belonging
Core Value: Integrity Honesty Standing up for beliefs Courage Candor	Supporting Value: Quality 1st Class Maintain High standards Having real worth Do it right the first time
Core Value: Personal Development Commitment to learning Pushing limits Utilize and improve potential	Supporting Value: Advancement Opportunity to improve Progress Upward mobility Promotions

If you overlay my values with the people that I admire, you will begin to see the composite of how I see myself.  

Name:	Because:	Stood For:	Difference Made:
1. Warren Buffet	Motivating, Dedicated, Focused	Capitalism	World’s Richest Man
2. William E Ryan Sr.	Protective Father, Networker, Strong, Charismatic, Sharp mind	Family, Strength, Truth	Rock of the Family
3. JFK	Irish Catholic, Charismatic, Leader, Change maker	Brought people together to fight for a common cause	Sent a man to the moon, President, Broke the WASP President chain, Cuba
4. Bill Parcells	Ability to turnaround losing cultures/operations Develops Performance	Discipline, Hard work, team building, hazard Mgmt	Rebuilt 4 teams to a winning culture
5. Richard Branson	Took Risk, Failed, Rebuilt himself	Entrepreneur	Record Label, Airline, Author, Plane to the moon

How do these two matrixes align? How would I define myself in the search of my “Mission Statement”? The same way Merriam-Webster dictionary does (option 3):

rain *mak *er

Show Spelled Pronunciation [reyn-mey-ker]

–noun

1.	(among American Indians) a medicine man who by various rituals and incantations seeks to cause rain.

2.	a person who induces rainfall by using various scientific techniques, as the seeding of clouds with silver iodide crystals from an airplane.

3.	Slang. an executive or lawyer with exceptional ability to attract clients, use political connections, increase profits, whose influence can initiate progress or ensure success, etc.: The president has several rainmakers among his advisers.

 I always thought I wanted to be an Investment Banker in M&A. I read every book, watched every movie and looked under every rock to understand the life of an Investment Banker. None of it scared me away. It actually made me more passionate about my childhood dream. I have been carrying this torch from the first time I watched “Pretty Woman” with my Mother. I saw the look in her eyes of the thought of a girl making her way from the difficulties of city streets to finding her fairytale in life of love & success. As a comic is infected with laughter as a child, I was infected that day with the M&A/Rainmaker Dream…

In the pursuit of this dream some might say I have taken a wandering road. First out of undergrad I stay in Upstate New York instead of finding a finance job in Manhattan. Second I move to California to pursue my MBA, once again shunning NYC. I went to UCI, not UCLA because I felt the culture was the best fit for me. After successfully chasing down my MBA which I thought would be the keys to the castle of M&A luxury, I find myself with the keys but no door.

This recession has closed many doors and has forced me to re-evaluate my intestinal fortitude to see my dream through until the end. With this recession’s cause as well as most devastated sector being financials, I do not see it growing back to the gluten stature it once was. Well at least not in the near future to enable me to pursue traditional career path of Banking at this point in my professional career. So what does that mean to me? Well less jobs because of more unemployed experience talent along with more MBA graduates. Needless to say more regulation by the government to establish safety nets with the intention to prevent this type of financial meltdown in the future. How do I stay a step ahead of these dominos as the layers of onion continue to be peeled back? How do I do this on my terms? LAW SCHOOL!!

As did my two matrixes came together, so did these economic factors for me. More regulation means more OPPORTUNITY! What are life’s constants? LAWS, death & taxes. How are all three of these constants always changing? They are based on the interoperation of the people that use them and protect them. They are applied by the logic and constructive arguments set by the best and brightest in the field. This is why there will be an influx need for Lawyers in these coming years. Especially in M&A while the banks redefine themselves through the new layers of regulation.

The irony of all of this is that I write this post on the Birthday Day of William E. Ryan Sr. a person I greatly admired. For the same reasons of why I want to be a Corporate Lawyer: dedication, determination, rainmaking ability and trail blazing legacy.

I leave you with this. No matter what your dream is, no matter how long your path is. Stick with it and do it on your terms. The purpose of one’s mission statement is to become the person you want to be. So no matter the goal, no matter the challenge; keep your vision statement in mind to ensure you keep your eye on YOUR prize. I might not have the most conventional way of doing things, but I have a drive and a focus that I feel is unmatched when I decide to do something.